The Shadowman
by Carottal
Summary: It's finished, and we all have to let it go. And to do so, I had to analyse them and put this analysis in a story. And as he's so awesome, I decided to use Baroona because who is better at understanding people than him? So here it is, Baroona's thoughts during the last battle. My tribute to this wonderful character! And an excuse to analyse the main characters. One shot. Spoilers!


_Hum... when I see the last story on this fandom was updated in 2013, I already know I can expect many people to read this... And I'm very proud that I sat on this one for 3 years... Anyway..._

 _Hello! Thanks for giving this story a try! This is the sister piece that was written at the same time as To Have it all. However, it is much less story telling than its sister. I like it though, I went further into my idea about the cast in this one than the other._

 _But before letting you read it, I have some little things to say. Humour me please it won't be long._

 _ **Disclaimer** : I don't own anything but my view on the characters._

 _ **Warning** : Hum... it's from Ares, isn't it enough a warning? Spoilers up to chapters 204 of volume 26 I think (So I'd advise you not to read this fic before having finished the series), mention of blood and death (as I said, this is Ares)_

 _And not only is English not my first language, but I've been sitting on this one for so long... I feel I've done what was missing with it after all this time. Usually I'd wait at least a day, proofread it a last time, find that there's something no right and not publish it. So I decided to avoid the whole process. But there can be mistakes, feel free to point them out to me._

 _Oh! and it's... not a story at all. I don't know if you've tried out the Mihael one (to have it all) but this one is even less a story than Mihael's. (I wonder when I'll actually write a true one...)_

 _ **Summary** : It's finished, and we all have to let it go. And to let it go, I had to analyse them and put this analyse in a story. That's what created this one. And as he's so awesome, I decided to use Baroona because who is better at understanding people than him?_

 _Enjoy._

* * *

 _ **The Shadowman**_

Ares is falling down, he doesn't wake up. That's my turn.

I'm the helper, the one hidden in the shadow. Light doesn't suit me, it isn't my place. To kill the ones that are second best, that's my thing. I don't care if I'm looked down upon, if my fight is not as thrilling as theirs, if I don't use all my skills. I've had my share of spot light, thank you. I prefer to help my friends and let them have their fun. Maybe it's because I've had more battles. No, now they must have killed more than I did, and I can't say I have more experience than they have. No one could say that after seeing them fight.

No. I don't like fighting, this is the difference. The big difference. The reason why I've always felt some kind of wall between me and them. Even Gohu seems to be closer to them than me. He sees a beauty in fights that I can't find. Funny! I can see it in his paintings. He doesn't realize it but he is a genius, and a great man. Maybe he is not as strong as any of us could be in term of brawn or agility, but in some ways he is stronger than us. Because even after seeing so much horror, so many deaths, so many wars and battlefields, he has a heart and he has hopes.  
People tend to forget it, but when Michael attacked the temple, Gohu was there, besides Ares. Well, before the fight started at least. And who was the one to go through mental shock? Who, on the contrary, took care of the traumatised one? And yes, when he discovered Sandra was in fact a spy, he did cry. But he survived and the next day he was able to speak.

Crying... what a strange thing it is. What is in a tear? What makes the water going out of your eyes so different? What makes it so purifying? Are sadness, shock, anger, emotions, just water? Water to fill your tears? Water to let them go? There was a time, a long time ago, when crying was a sign of strength, or so I've been told. Who said we were wiser than our ancestors? I'd like to be able to cry like them. I'd like to be able to cry like him. I'd have liked to cry when Michael died. But a fighter doesn't cry, and I learned it too long ago.

That's what war would do to a man. Make him forget the importance of feelings. War needs monsters after all, no human. Humans want to survive above anything else, humans are able of sympathy towards the other camp... Sympathy, what an awful feeling for a warrior. Imagine, not being able to strike because you realise that the one in front of you is as human as you, has a life, a family, a dream maybe. Have they ever had to do it? Are there people in this world who went through this and were still able to kill in the next fight? Even this man I'm fighting now, has he realised yet what his murders could cause? Would cause. Would he still collect swords like this? Maybe. If one man was to be this insensitive, I believe he would be like him. The man whom Ares has wanted to kill for so long... This man who lost his humanity to become the mindless "best" fighter. Is that really a goal in life? Pathetic. That's what I'd like to say to him. See how his red eyes would change, see the spoiled child act on his big inferiority complex.

Would I die after angering him? It could be fun to die this way. Damn. Heh! What am I thinking? I'm so fucked! We're all fucked. All but Gohu.

I don't know how he did but he remained totally unaffected by this life. Granted he hasn't killed anyone. But he may be the one who went the closest to death. Because every single time he lies on the battlefield, among fallen soldiers, there is a risk he would be found out and killed. And the fear you must feel when soldiers are checking if the corpses are really dead must be incredible. Heart beating, faster and faster as the sword is plunging into the guts of the cadavers next to you, the ground becomes wet with blood. You can't move, you can't check the face of the enemy, they could be preparing themselves to stab you next and you can't know. Your ears are ready, looking for any sound to indicate a change in the soldier's demeanour... You wait and hope...

What am I doing? I may have received too many blows already. I should be focussing on the fight if I don't want to die. And I can't. Ares would be too angry, and then he would be killed too and all would be for nothing. But it's so easy. It's so easy to give in to death. The only thing preventing us from killing ourselves is fear, and I've stopped to fear death a long time ago. A soldier embraces death to fight. I'm a soldier, I'm ready to die. But not because of this pathetic excuse for a man. I have to survive, I have to see Gohu's art again, have to see him going everyday through this fear just to achieve his dream. See Ares achieve his dream...

But what will happen to him, after his dream is reached? after that swords holder is dead? Is revenge really a dream? Is getting his own revenge Ares's only dream? I hope not. I'm not sure he'll be able to move forward if it is. I know so little about him. When I think about Ares, I always picture his back. We are so different. Sometimes I wonder how this all happened. If we hadn't been the youngest, if Gohu and Michael hadn't been there, would Ares and I have become friends? Would I be right here, protecting him? Fighting his battle in my own way, that way he made fun of on the first day? That way Michael thought was stupid? That way they can't understand.

Pff, that's stupid. What can't be done with an "if"? What if Ares's master had never been killed? What if Ares had never met his master? What if Ares didn't have this man's death set as his goal? I can't know.

What I know is that Ares needs a goal to stand on his own. A goal, and people surrounding him. More than this man's hand, life scarred him. Sure, he is able to smile and sometimes he can seem to be a normal teen but that's just an act. An act to lower the enemy's defence. He is a fighter, a soldier, a weapon, a tool. Even more than I've ever been. But there is one thing that saved him. Sometimes, his normalcy isn't just an act. Because, even with the life he had, Ares met love. I don't know about his parents but his master Kiron loved him, Michael, Gohu and I did and then…  
Then came Ariadne and I think she's the best thing that ever came into his life. Because with her, he can forget the battlefield and feel for real. He discovered a joy that is better than the one adrenaline induced by fighting can give you. And that saved him. That saved him from the fate of a man like Michael.

Michael didn't really know what love was. He had to wait until the temple to discover friendship. I'm not even sure he was loved by his parents. That's what comes with being a prince and the next king. That's why when we opened his treasury I wasn't really surprised. But the fact is that the only joy he knew was the one he had during a fight. I've always seen that his blood lust wasn't normal, that it would be his downfall. And even the friendship he had with us was somehow linked with the battlefield. And that's why I think he preferred Ares among us. Ares is strong. That attracted him. And we came along.

Sometimes, I wonder if I could have been what Ares was to him. Maybe he could have liked me the same way. When we shared cigarettes, I knew we were more alike than we thought. We were the only ones we could have a serious discussion with. And it was refreshing not to explain everything and know the other understood. But I don't like fighting. I think sometimes he pitied me because of that. That's why he wanted Ares to kill him. Ares and no one else. I hope he is happy now.

I think I've always felt a bit jealous of the relationship between Ares and Michael. Because those two were fighting the same way. I think Ares wouldn't mind if Michael intruded in his fight. However, he would kill me. I'm the back up. But I'm happy. Because thanks to my past experiences, I understand what a fight really is and what it isn't. And that's why I am still able to help Ares from the sideline, by giving a bit of my experience in psychology. I can be the detached part he isn't able to be. Seems I'm the most mature of all! I guess that when you only know fighting, to understand that life is more than that is something to be proud of!

Yep, this is who I am. A broken boy who reached some kind of wisdom. I am not as strong as Gohu. If Ares was saved by Ariadne, if Michael lost himself in the battlefield, I was broken by the fights. I didn't lose myself in them because I lost it long ago, when I had to kill the only one who cared for me, only to become the first. That's why I prefer to be second. To me, being first and friendship can't mix together. And I know I prefer friendship. I'm not Michael, I don't see dying by the hand of a friend as a way to mix both. I'm selfish, I want to live and have friends. And if I have to die, then it will be protecting one of those friends, not fighting them.

And that's exactly what I'm trying to do now. They make me laugh, "are you really planning to let him fight by himself, no matter what?" Of course I can't! But I don't want him to feel bad because he didn't fight alone. So I had to wait until he was unconscious. And here we are. I discover this swordsman with red eyes. Huh! Not that impressive. Let's make it last and maybe Ares will manage to kill him. Because even if I wanted to kill this man, I wouldn't be able to. Never mind, I don't want that. Ares would kill me. That's the trouble with being able to read people well, you refrain yourself from doing some things that maybe would be better. I don't act on the impulse, I observe, I understand and then I act. That's why my weapon suits me so well. It isn't that dangerous, you have to know how to use it and to use everything around you to make it deadly. And then, the enemy doesn't know what struck him.

I must say I'm having a bit of fun. It's strange but I feel that this is my fight. Not a fight to kill like Ares's or Michael's, but a fight to support. A fight to last, to make the audience wait until the big part comes. Funny, I've never really separated the arena and the battlefield.

Ah! Ares seems to be waking up. Great, it seems I won't die here.

"Be careful, old man! That Ares, he seems a little pissed off right now." Hey I've always dreamed to say something like that!

Here, the entr'acte is finished, now comes the big boss.

.

"Baroona, you probably won't believe it when I say this, but just now…, Michael came back and left!"

Heh! It's strange but I believe him because somehow I know that I will always be behind their back. Their two backs. I could have felt jealous but now I know what I really want. So yes, Michael had the spot light, Ares will be seen as a great hero, and I'll be along with him, the one who saw everything, who helped but no one saw helping. Because I am the shadowman.

And that makes me happy.

 _The End_

* * *

 _ **AN** : Didn't you think Baroona was awesomely sure of himself during this fight in the manga? As if something had changed?_

 _I don't think Baroona could have have this kind of thoughts during his fight though. Mostly because he needs to be focussed. But I really wanted to write about him, and I see him as a great analyst, so obviously, this turned into some big analysis of the main cast!_

 _It's fun how Gohu found a place into this fic. At first, he was mentioned just as much as Ares and Michael... but I don't know, maybe because he isn't the first character, he just made the text grow, longer and longer, and now, I'm not sure if the main character of this story, if there's one, is Baroona or him. Oh well! I find him very interesting and praising his peculiar courage was something I've wanted to do since volume 14 so..._

 _I may commit another one, one day, in the faraway future, focussing more on him. About that twisted hide and seek he always plays with death... Hide and seek, that'd be a good title... (you may have it one day because I'm feeling the "story" building up in my mind right now... Summary: Gohu had always thought life was a huge game of hide and seek. And now, he's playing hide and seek with death.)_

 _If at a moment, you read Mihael instead of Michael, please, tell me... it's not a typo and... just have a look at my profile and you may be able to understand!^^_

 _So I'm not sure of the rating, and I'm open for any criticism, flames, corrections, praises (that too!).  
So remember. YOU have the power to make this fandom live, USE IT!_

 _Thanks for reading!_

 _ **PS** : the anonymous reviewer who goes by the mysterious name of 'me': I know it was some time ago but if you happen to come upon this fic, Thank you very much for your review on 'to have it all', and I'm glad it touched you._

 _ **PPS** : If you liked this story, you can all thanks Snooki too, because without that chick to whom I had sent this story (don't remember why though), it woul have been lost for ever. So yay to docX and sharing with other authors!_


End file.
